Jack Sparrow Ain't Got Nothing on Long John Silver

I know, every generation thinks they discover the classic genres of storytelling.  Nobody had ever done a western before Russell Crowe did "3:10 to Yuma" and Johnny Depp has made everybody forget about "Cutthroat Island."

But I have to say that my image of a pirate from the Spanish Main is Robert Newton in Disney's "Treasure Island."  He was an early model for how adults could not always be trusted.

Today, thanks to Captain Jack Sparrow, our ideas of piracy are much cuddlier.  They do not so much suggest sociopaths as what used to be called "dipsomaniacs."

Very different image.

One thing pirates of all diagnoses have in common is the need for a safe harbor.  

Whether you are captain of the Black Pearl or something much smaller, after being the scourge of the seven seas, you yearn for a place to anchor up and give your sea legs a rest. 

Such a place can be found at Treasure Island in Florida and, for the winning bid, you can be the pirate to come ashore there.

The winning bidder will have a week's use of a private condo on Boca Ciega Bay.  This 1500 square foot retreat has two bedrooms, two baths and a fully equipped kitchen. (Click on the video below for a tour of the condo.)  And there are plenty of local attractions to keep you occupied.